Kardashians Vs. The Riddler Part VIII: Clayface

No, No, No.

Bruce thought while applying his magic cream.

He sat at wife, Kris Kardashian Jenners vanity, shaping his drooping face so it would appear even.

No matter how long he spent on it, things were never quite perfect.

Creaming, as he called it, was part of his daily regiment.

To smooth out his imperfections.

The chemically treated product was distributed within the black market.

He purchased it from an ancient herbal and medical shop in Thai Town.

Referred by another aging actress friend, Bruce tried a sample back in 1984 after he came out of his plastic surgery nightmare.

He was desperate to fix his problems, and refused to undergo more snips and prods.

While he learned to perfect his face with the cream, he was actually causing more harm to it.

The skin cells in his face began to die, creating dead muscles.

At thirty seven, he had started to look like a stroke victim.

Until he applied the cream.

The mystical mixture had started to bond with him.

And it was reliant upon him.

Bruce began to feel like a junkie, hiding his beauty tips from his family.

The public had become less forgiving, ridiculing his appearance.

No amount of cream could permanently fix the damages the surgery had caused.

So he continued to use.

Left with no choice.

In 1991, he became an honorary Kardashian member, by marrying the love of his life.

Kris Kardashian.

She became a Jenner, and gave birth to two daughters Kendall, and Kylie.

A small part of Bruce had feared his new life with the family.

Mostly because of the cream.

He managed to hide his disfigurements, by drowning himself in the cream early each morning.

The more he applied, the longer his face would hold up.

It began to form a thick waxy mold which the family assumed was make up.

While he struggled to keep his appearance up, he was also thrown under the Kardashian bus that revved through Hollywood.

Kim's sex tape had thrust the family into the spotlight, and their new reality show had begun.

Kris Jenner transformed into Momzilla, throwing her children in front of every and any camera possible.

The woman he fell in love with, was entranced by the falsity of Hollywood, and craved attention.

While the girls glammed up, Bruce felt worse about his appearance.

Once again, he was thrown in front of the cross hairs of the tabloids.

He was under scrutiny about his face.

Kris tried being supportive, by pushing him toward the plastic surgeons, but he refused.

He was afraid the surgeons would learn the truth regarding his magic cream, and blab to Star magazine.

So he continued to mold his face.

One night, Bruce awoke to a startling discovery.

He couldn't breathe through his nose.

Rather than alarm Kris, Bruce, slipped into the bathroom.

In the mirror he discovered that his face had collapsed.

While his eyes remained in place, everything else had sunken in.

The only way he could breathe properly was by swallowing large gasps of air through the hole that used to be his mouth.

In a panic, he reached for his cream, but there was not enough.

He managed to shift his nose back in place, but the rest of him was inverted.

There was no way of hiding this.

He bandaged his face with every gauze strip he could find, racing through the gates of his Calabasas community.

There was no way his supplier would be open at 3 A.M, but he had to do something.

Bruce raced to Thai Town.

To his surprise, the shop was open.

A great amount of shame always washed over him, right before he had entered the run down facility.

The shop was painted with graffiti.

Animal hides hung from the ceiling, while the smell of burning flesh permeated the air.

Disturbing paintings of crying children murdering their parents hung on the walls.

This was one of those places you certainly wouldn't want to be in at this time of hour, but Bruce was desperate.

He called out for the shop owner, but there seemed to be no one around.

Behind the counter was a tub of the cream he wanted.

Typically the old Thai shop owner would scoop the contents into a smaller container for Bruce, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

He popped the top off the container, and scooped the thick cream out with his hands. 

Bruce applied a heavy dose to his flesh, inverting things back to their place.

A small shop mirror helped him smooth out the imperfections.

He smiled, causing his flesh to crack.

More cream was applied, but his face wouldn't take.

The skin began to ooze and droop.

He ruthlessly applied more, hoping the entire container would fix it, but his skin transformed to putty.

Bruce screamed at the horror, prompting the shop owner to appear.

The owner began shouting in Thai, cursing him.

Bruce pleaded for help, but when the owner saw the half empty container of cream he became vigilant.

He took Bruce by the scalp, which nearly ripped off, and poured the remaining contents down his throat.

Bruce gagged as the thick substance clogged all major arteries instantly.

He dropped down dead.

The Thai man began stepping on Bruce's body, but instead of crushing his bones, the body squished into clay.

The owner rolled the remnants of Bruce into a tight clay ball and tossed it out his front door.

The ball rolled down the street, and slipped down a sewer drain.

The pile of clay splashed into a vile mix of Los Angeles toxic spill, and sewage, bringing the old man back to life.

First a hand.

Then an arm.

Then the rest of him grew.

Rats feared the pulsating pile of garbage, which grew by the minute.

Before long, Bruce had fully regrown.

He found his way out of the sewer, unsure of how he had gotten there in the first place.

Back in Calabasas, he showered off all the grime from the city.

He towled himself off, which mushed his entire body.

Before he could shift everything back to normal, his body snapped like a tight rubber band.

Everything was as it was, before he started using.

He gasped at the perfection.

The beautifully clean lines.

His flawlessly smooth skin.

No amount of cream had done this good of job.

He wasn't quite sure what had changed, but he felt different.

Poking his skin, he watched it dip, then snap back in to place.

He smiled, waiting for a crack.

Nothing.

All was perfection.

But perfection never came without a price.

Bruce was anxious to see what was in store for him.

So he went back to bed.

Hoping his beauty wasn't temporary.

Unaware, that his daughter Kylie had just seen everything.