Tear Filled Thankful

Moderation, trust,and simplicity, make the detours easier to swallow.

So many times I neglect the little things.

On this harsh winter day I will absorb the suns orange glow.

The steam blowing off my tea will be inhaled.

That first bite of chocolate will be savored.

I will be mindful of others and thankful for my life.

Unfinished Business

Slick chiffon weaves its way around the body
as she falls deeper into the abyss.

Powder white hair caresses the rest of her pale complexion,
as she instinctively flings and flails. 

She is weightless, confused, and scared.

No one said it'd be like this.

Memories swirl before her,
like water down a drain.

Some too painful to relive,
but her eyes are fastened open
forced to face the past.  

Love,
pain,
beauty,
anger,
youth,
grief.


An emotional bukakke to the brain,
that lets her demons run rampant. 

No more running.

It's time to fight. 

You Is Love

My ignorance shows,
before words take flight.

I wish I wasn't priveledged enough to fight the good fight.

I'll never know what it means to be a black man,
I'll never feel the pains of being a trans man or woman. 

All I can do and say is live life authentically and put love, respect, and understanding before my own needs.

We live in a selfish environment.

It's getting much more closed off, cold, and grey.

It can be hard to remember the feel of a sunbeam bouncing off your skin when the darkness and cold engulfs you.

You don't always see a rainbow reflected after a storm.

Kindness is an attribute I'm keen on recovering.

Meditation, strength, and growth is what we all need.

To those I offended or forgot,
know that you're represented.

You are loved,
you are powerful,
you are you.

X Marks The Spot

There's a running dialogue in my head.

She's four years old and telling me to run, but I can't.

Something wicked this way comes,
yet my feet are planted firmly in the cement.

Once when I was about her age, I awoke to a disturbing sight:

A spirit,
a sprite,
a light,
moving in the night.

It terrified me to the point of paralysis.

I somehow managed to pull the covers over my head and close my eyes,
but day turned into night and it appeared once more.


Palms sweaty,
heart racing,
chest pounding,
feet twitching.

I stood and reached out, inching closer and closer, until I passed right through it.

No cold sensation, or heart wrenching terror,
just relief.

The night was restored. 

Years passed,
and memories faded,
until one consequential night the specter returned.




The little girl explained to me that the shadow appears to the young to ignite despair and fear.. 

These senses are like words in a book, spelling out the date of ones expiration.

A henchmen, of the doomed.  

No longer could I writhe and wiggle free.

Fate made its mark from history.

Gone were the days of my safety blanket.

The hourglass had spit out it's last grain of sand and X marked the spot. 

Annie Are You Okay?

It's been far too long,
and much too lonely
as the chilling winds of the Atlantic try to fuck up my face, body, and soul.

My heart has been crushed by all the negative energy in the world,
but I feel it begin to mend,
as I pull myself out from the pill bug position. 

Annie's lyrics travel to my gut,
"Dying is easy, it's living that scares me today,"
but I trudge on.

Through the cold,
through the sludge,
through the racist, fat shaming pitfalls,
I prevail.

A new mutation,
ready for its spring metamorphosis.