Kardashians Vs. The Riddler Part VII: Brody, Boy Wonder

Hollywood party boy claimed sole conservator and guardian over Jenner girls!

Brody Jenner.

Bruce's pride and joy.

And son with wife Linda Thompson.

He was well known and reveled by the paparazzi, long before the Kardashians took the spotlight.

He co-starred in series like the Hills.

And was guilty of capturing a few starlets hearts.

Nothing could have prepared him for fatherhood.

Brody should have gotten the entire city of Los Angeles pregnant, long before a conservatorship was assigned to him.

But Bruce had always had high hopes for his son.

Bruce had lived the lifestyles of the rich and famous, seventies and eighties. 

The only thing learned was that cocaine and steroids don't mix.

He wanted more for his glory boy.

There was nothing worse than a scandalous career as an heir.

Bruce watched as the press had gotten less forgiving over the years.

Seeing Brody in the Hills was one thing, since it was scripted.

But the tabloids was another.

Bruce knew he wouldn't be around forever.

And had high expectations.

Once Kylie Kardashian was born, Bruce made the erratic decision to file legal papers making Brody the legal guardian and sole conservatorship over Kendall and Kylie.

If ever there was trouble.

This was, of course, information he kept secret from the rest of his family.

He hadn't worried about wife, Kris, since she had signed the paper work during one of her infamous red wine and Valium stupors.

Like most night, she had forgotten the entire engagement.

The day after the Riddler murder/kidnapping took place, the Kardashians mighty estate lawyer was summoned.

He wasn't much of a superhero, but was all the family had.

He alerted the clan of the Jenner girls new father.

Brody.

Brody had hoped the older sisters would take on the responsibility.

And for a while they did.

Kylie and Kendall were shuttled from Khloe's, to Kim's, to Kourtney's.

But the girls began to fear Kourtney's mental instability and called in the others for reinforcement.

Brody wasn't prepared for real life.

Not long ago, he was piss drunk at Kims nuptials.

Now he was held responsible for the well being of his half sisters, that he barely knew.

The only thing he had cared about, was whether Bruce was alive.

After Kourtney's death, the family hardships continued.

Kendall began acting out, citing the emotionally damaging environment changes as her reason.

This infuriated Khloe, who was busy fighting the LAPD on a daily basis on his behalf.

Rob was lost in a drug fueled frenzy.

While Kim unsuccessfully picked up the pieces of the families foundation.

Brody fled Los Angeles, and spent many months at his families private villa in Cabo San Lucas.

There, he partied.

Drank.

And fucked.

But soon he grew tired of it.

Nothing seemed to lift his spirits.

His overall mood had become black.

He learned to calm part of the ferocity with surfing.

The ocean reminded him of Bruce, who taught him how to shred.

His favorite memories flooded his mind.

He often thought of the day he watched the sun set with Bruce while they floated on their boards.

Bruce lectured Brody, spitting some inspirational verbiage.

What haunted Brody was Bruce's razor sharp tone confiding him to Take Pride In Something.

One night, during a drunken surf, Brody lost his balance and hit his head on a rock.

His body was tousled in the ocean, in hopes to swallow him whole, but he managed to break free.

He floated back to the surface and lie on the beach, mending the crack in his head.

Whether it was the rock, or Bruce's guilt, Brody wasn't sure.

But finally he had broke.

The entire night was dedicated to his lost feelings and hidden tears.

He cried, like no man had ever dared, hoping the pain would heal.

In the morning, everything was clear.

He returned to Los Angeles and moved Kendall and Kylie into his West Hollywood condo.

It took a while for Kylie to adjust to her new lifestyle at Brody's.

His condo was in no shape for two young girls.

And they were used to Bruce.

Kendall on the other hand, had made herself right at home.

Due to space limitations the girls shared a bedroom, which did not sit well with Kendall.

Brody tried cleaning up his bad boy past, by working full time in MTV's development department.

Since the girls were at a respectable age, his role as conservatorship was fairly simple.

He played an active role in the girls personal lives.

He drove them to school every morning.

He attended Kendall's football games where she cheered.

Kylie was involved in her schools drama department, which Brody fully supported, despite his disgust with Hollywood.

One night, after feeding the girls, an exhausted Brody fell in to bed.

A movement startled him.

Under his sheets was Kendall, who had hoped to surprise him.

She held his bedsheets over her body, but he could tell there was little underneath.

He distanced himself from her, demanding she get dressed, but she dropped the blankets anyway.

She explained that she was too old to share a bedroom with her younger sister.

That it was time he treated her like the woman she was.

Brody found it hard, both literal, and figuratively, as she was his half sister.

But Kendall hadn't cared.

She slithered toward Brody, seducing her prey.

Is suddenly dawned on Brody how forward she had become over the last few months.

He recalled her sexy routine performed at a pep rally.

Her eyes focused purely on him.

Or when they were at MTV premieres.

The way she would hold his hand while they walked the red carpet.

Cornered, Brody tried talking Kendall down, but she would have no part in his excuses.

A kiss, was all she asked for, but he knew it was wrong.

His libido palpated in sync with his heart.

He tried thinking of anything except sex, but since his full time dad stint he hadn't bed a single starlet.

He became too exhausted.

And didn't even masturbate.

Kendall kissed Brody, dipping her tongue in and out of his tightly pressed lips.

When he opened his eyes, she was gone.

Horrified, he left the condo for a drink at Teddy's.

As he arrived, the paparazzi were waiting.

It had been nearly a year since his last drunken stint and he vowed not to relapse.

Instead, he raced toward Kim's Beverly Hills mansion, in hopes of pawning off Kendall.

Nervously fidgeting with the radio, he drove, unaware of the figure in his back seat.

With lightning speed, the mysterious person covered his mouth with a liquid soaked cloth.

The chemicals made Brody delirious, as he swerved his car off the road.

It eventually slowed to a stop.

Brody's body had become numb.

The figure from the backseat rolled his body into the passenger seat, and resumed driving.

Barely conscious, he got a good look at his captor.

Of all people he didn't expect it to be her.

But it was.

Smiling, with her little Bambi eyes.

Kylie Jenner blew him a kiss, before putting the car in drive.

And peeling out.