Monday, August 29, 2011

Kardashians Vs. The Riddler Part V: Khloe's Klaws

Bruce Jenner was no where to be found, and no one seemed to question it.

Except Khloe.

While the rest of the family exploited themselves for the camera, became drug takers or ex-communicated themselves from the Kardashian name, Khloe remained persistent.

Even though Bruce wasn't her biological father, he was the closest thing to it since her father, Robert, died.

She already lost her mother.

She wouldn't lose another father.

The LAPD knew her on a first name basis.

Or better know as K.K.

The Kardashian Kunt.

The city grew tired of her constant nagging, and barrage of questions.

Police headquarters became a weekly sitcom featuring K.K. and the LAPD.

She would burst into the building in a frantic tizzy, while cops rolled their eyes and turned the other way.

A back and forth between the police chief and K.K would take place, while a laugh track played over the uncomfortable shouting and silent answers.

In Khloe's eyes, the police weren't doing much to solve the Riddlers Puzzle case.

The FBI briefly investigated the crime, and took the family into questioning after Kris's death, but the case remained an unsolved mystery.

A year and a half of dead end clues and no lead, the case was dropped and shuffled back to LAPD.

Soon after, Kourtney had killed herself separating the family more than ever.

Sister Kim tried staying strong and running the empire, but her attempts were useless.

Khloe's father was missing, her mother was dead, and her best friend and sister selfishly took her own life.

Rob had become a junkie, and Kendall and Kylie wanted nothing to do with the family.

Lamar, Khloe's husband tried being as supportive as he could.

The press berated him with questions regarding the reality family.

He was publicized for his violent outbursts toward photogs and paparazzi.

The negative publicity began affecting his performance.

He was ultimately dropped from the Lakers and black listed from most NBA teams.

Avoiding more bad press, Khloe distanced herself from Lamar, hoping to separate briefly.

Khloe moved in with Kim, who was equally unsatisfied with her marriage.

They became each others support system.

Khloe was dependent on Kim.

And vice versa.

One night, Khloe made an impromptu visit to her her home with Lamar to talk about their marriage.

The Beverly Hills mansion was packed with party goers.

Hip hop echoed through the yard.

Khloe, was appalled at the video ho's and random strippers working the party.

Lamar was obnoxiously drunk, while two girls drank champagne and straddled him.

Never the wall flower, Khloe slid her 9-karat diamond engagement ring to the inside of her palm.

The champagne twins were the first to go down.

Each received a shiny hello from Khloe before knocking them out cold.

Her phone rang.

It was Kim.

Now was not the time for a chat.

Lamar, jumped on the defensive and became shouting racial slurs at her.

Whether it was the aggression toward the LAPD, or the pain from the past year and half, wasn't clear.

What was evident, was that nobody fucked with a Kardashian.

Especially Khloe.

Lamar continued to belittle her, shouting obscenities, while party go-ers helped the champagne ho's off the ground.

Khloe responded by kissing her diamond ring, and round housing Lamar in the head.

She finished off her new move with an uppercut, sliding her diamond across his chin.

A path opened up from the by standers, as Khloe exited the house.

Clearly her mixed martial arts classes were paying off.

And reaped more benefits than her hour of yoga.

She returned to her temporary home at Kims, feeling invigorated.

Her key entered the front doors lock.

The door was already open.

Khloe entered, feeling a horrific case of deja vu.

The apartment had been ransacked.

Her gut told her to run.

Her heart told her to fight.

She readied her 9-karat ring and removed a baseball bat from the coat closet.

Khloe wanted to call out to Kim, but was too afraid of the silence.

She scoured the home, finding an open box with the words BEWARE THE RIDDLER written on the bottom.

Her rage erupted.

Khloe began smashing anything in her path in order to call out the captor.

Glass sculptures.

Lamps.

Art work.

Nothing was saved.

She wouldn't become a victim.

A scurry in the back bedroom, shocked her senses.

Khloe rushed to the room, ready for combat.

Glass from a broken window littered the floor.

Bloody footprints had danced through it.

Something was outside the window.

Khloe followed the noise.

A woman was shimming down a drain pipe that lined against the building.

Khloe wasn't going down without a fight.

She thrust the bat at the woman's head.

She missed by an inch, but got her attention.

The woman below was covered in blood and filth.

She wore a tattered silk dress, and ran barefoot.

The woman appeared savage and foreign, until Khloe locked eyes with the creature.

They locked eyes, before she ran off.

Her breath escaped her body.

She wheezed, having a panic attack, for the woman below was no stranger.

In fact the dress the woman wore belonged to her sister.

And eyes belonged to her best friend.

It was Kourtney.

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