I'm Falling Free

I stand here on this ledge, staring down at the moving cars below. 

I don't move, but stand completely still, outstretching my arms above my head as the wind blows.

My body sways back and forth, but I continue to hold complete control and balance, as my hair blows slightly in the wind.

I can't get this Scissor Sisters song out of my head.

Behind my eyelids I see my lovers face smiling at me.

Suddenly this memory turns sour and he is old and sick.

My living parents fade away and this fantasy shows me left alone to rot as the world speeds up.

No heirs or living decedents.

Death takes over my major bodily functions, but refuses to claim me as a victim.

I become a corpsely shell locked in a facility where people poke and prod at me, to make sure I am still breathing.

My days are confined to a rocking chair I can't move.

The lone survivor, lying in soiled sheets, trying to remember better days, but those too have left me.

I open my eyes to the present and squint from the blazing sun overhead.

Behind me I hear a cry of voices shouting for me to step back.

I ignore their cries and smile.

All of the anxiety.

The societal pressures.

The let downs.

The grieving.

The loss of loved ones.

In the back of my mind I can already see the headlines.

"Suicidal...depressed...bipolar."

None are true, but there's no good way to explain to someone when you're complete.

I am taking control of my life and have come to the conclusion that I have everything I have ever wanted.

A beautiful and healthy family, partner, dog. 

A job, mortgage, and friends.

I have seen the world. 

Been to many great concerts, plays, and met incredible talent through and through.

I have written my unpublished opus.

Laughed, cried, dissapointed some, been pleasantly surprised, danced, sung, instructed, learned, exceeded expectations and failed.

There is nothing left that I wish to experience.

Feelings of satisfactions, rather than emptiness.

I am not depressed or unhappy, but fulfilled.

So I lift my head to the sky and lean into my destiny.

A million memories flash before my eyes.

It is mere seconds before the impact, but I feel tears of joy escape from my eyes before the darkness takes hold.

Now the real journey begins.