Duranne

Duranne,
                 It's days like today that reminds me why we are alive.
I started my morning with a brisk walk through the neighborhood with Arthur. He sniffed around while I watched the leave littered sidewalks blow a multitude of reds, oranges and yellows across my path.

More and more fell like a ticker tape parade.

Life's ultimate beauty.

Even in death.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I was scared, but honestly it's for the best.

Since I was a child I used to pray to God, or whoever was listening, to end my misery.

Even in my prime I was longing for an end.

I was a foolish child then, with little respect for the kindness and love one could receive.

I fear these negative thoughts are part of my slow demise.

The doctors and family keep urging me to seek treatment, but I don't want to prolong the inevitable.

I find it quite ironic that one doesn't truly feel until everything is taken away.

Yes, the days will soon be shorter, and these natural beauties will soon wither and die, but I am comforted in the notion that they will be reborn, and flourish more beautiful than before.

Until then, I can only appreciate what's in front of me, and try and keep my mind off the idea that we are human.

That each of us have a weakness.

And an unknown finality is ahead.

My biggest fear of all.

All The Best,

-Nan