Ground Control

Every seven and a half years Saturn returns,
and the unpenetrable shield I've spent years protecting myself with, crumbles.

I'm vulnerable to dark outside forces,
and unable to emotionally detach from the violent and hideous deformities that creep into the heart.

I listen to those voices shouting,
you're not good enough,
kill yourself,
it's all your fault.

I fear when dawn is dead
and I drown in the black lake,
you'll watch from a place of light
and see that I can't be saved.

A family curse,
to be both good and evil.

Pure intent, love, and light,
jerked away and raped by unholy evil.