That Little Purple Pill

It's been five years since I wrote "Taxi Cab To Hell" and nothings been as good.

It all seems like a distant memory, or nightmare, depending on how you look at it.

The critics have ravaged and destroyed my reputation as a writer.

I've tried to recapture that night by immersing myself with every street drug I could find.

Ex, coke, heroin, angel dust, grass, acid, bennies, crystal meth, downers, peyote, red devils, skittles, pep pills, yellow jackets.

Nothing compares to that little purple pill I found in that taxi cab.

I've explored the black market and either been ripped off, or Chris Hansen'd.

My reputation for a pill popping, drug enfuled, skeezer hasn't' helped my career, but I've realized within this short time, that I owe credit, when credit is due.

My health and financials have suffered a great deal within the last five, but I'm desperate to trade it all in for that one last high.

Not from the drug, but from the creative visions I received on that shit cold night in February.

It seemed to have all been lost.

I was being evicted, for not paying my rent.

No one would hire me because of my tailspin.

People just wanted to be near me, so they could score.

I had become a washed up hack writer with a problem.

I received a plain white envelope under my door yesterday.

Inside I found a small purple pill.

I've come across many over the last few years.

To me, they were a dime a dozen.

Purple capsules, with nothing more than a little PCP or tylenol inside.

Ordinarily I would pop it right away, with the optimism that this was it.

By this time in my life, I had grown tired.

My body ached from the amount of damage I had put it through.

Instead, I emptied it out in the toilet and threw the capsule away.

When I returned to the entry way, I noticed the same plain envelope under my door.

Inside, the same capsule.

I had asked my neighbors if they had seen anything, but most of them were short with me.

In fact, I never really saw their entire face, because I was always kept at a distance while they spoke to me through the chain behind their door.

I had become an unpredictable monster, alienating strangers.

Again, I tossed the pill, only to find it under my door when I returned from the bathroom.

I tested the theory again, dumping the pill and rushing to my front door.

There lied another envelope.

My peep hole revealed no one.

I leered down my hallway, but it was empty.

The next few minutes I sat in anticipating staring at the envelope, still under my door.

I thought about all of the doctors warnings, and advice from therapy groups and AA meetings I was forced to attend.

When had enough been enough?

I had decided long ago, I would only fall off the wagon for one last bender, when I was absolutely, positively sure I had found my purple mountain majesty.

My research showed that there was no documented drug with the description and effect I had experienced, but eventually evolved into an urban legend, of sorts, amongst teens.

Everyone had become obsessed with finding that great, purple high.

Kids dubbed it Purple Mountain Majesty.

This only ruined my reputation more.

My shitty little piece had become a cult phenomena, inspiring kids around the world to party hard and pop pills.

Did I really want to go down this path again?

With every bender, I felt I had truly hit rock bottom, but maybe this time was it.

The contents might not be "the one," but it could quite possibly be the one that ends it all.

I had decided, if this was going to be it, that I should put myself back in the whiskey coma that started this whole entire thing.

I removed the rest of my Makers Mark from under the sink and guzzled it.

My stomach burned, but there was no effect on my throat.

Perhaps, the drugs completely numbed all my senses.

I continued to stare at the envelope, while the alcohol kicked in.

It was a different kind of lull.

One that I wasn't used to, but I always preferred alcohol and weed, over any of the hard core stuff.

Once I was good and shit faced, I stumbled toward the door and lied down next to the envelope.

I blessed myself and said a prayer, hoping this was it.

I reached for the pill, remembering a simpler time.

Debbie had crossed my mind.

Someone I hadn't thought about in years.

Between my fingers I rolled the purple capsule.

Pessimistic about its potency, but optimistic it would do me in.

I let it rest on the tip of my tongue, before fulling swallowing.

The purple casing began to disolve.

I tried to swallow it, but it melded to my tongue, before I had the choice.

The after taste was a bitter key lime.

My entire mouth became cotton mouthed.

When I tried lubricating with my spit, the flavor exploded in my mouth.

A bloody after taste.

I shot up immediately, with my back to the front door.

I waited anxiously, taking inventory of the items around me.

My eyes furiously darted around the room.

Left, to right.

Ceiling to floor.

Axis to axis.

The floor beneath me began to vibrate.

I touched its cool surface feeling it thud louder and louder.

It was as if my neighbor below had begun blasting a large bass speaker.

I listened as the bass grew, shaking various picture frames and items nailed to my walls.

Suddenly I was assaulted by a disco beat.

Chris Gibsons vocals kicked in as "Que Sera Mi Vida" by Gibson Brothers shook my entire apartment.

I covered my ears, but the music grew louder, echoing from the palms of my hands.

The bass kicked so hard, that my heart began to flutter irregularly.

I started to choke as my heart caught up to the beat.

My lungs deflated and everything in my apartment began to shake and bounce, as if it were the dice being popped in the center of the board game Trouble.

I tried balancing, but the vibrations were too rough.

All four walls began closing in, making the room smaller.

I would take one step forward and the wall in front of me would knock me to the ground.

Suddenly I was catapulted from the floor to the ceiling, as the room inverted 180 degrees.

The walls began to expand, opening the room up.

Arms punched through the ground beneath me, crackling through dry wall.

Glittered, disco zombies began to crawl through the open holes.

The music only grew louder, and all they wanted to do was dance.

I tried reaching out to one, but one my fingers was bit off.

The zombie spit it to the ground, and I watched it limp away.

In a millisecond, I blinked and my apartment had transformed into the Studio 54 type nightclub I had seen the first time I took this pill.

My heart literaly jumped for joy and exploded from my chest.

I watched it as it sprouted wings and flew off.

The hole in my chest closed up and healed.

Glitter rained from the ceiling.

Girls roller skated across the dance floor.

They were topless and sporting hot pants.

On top of their shoulders, rested emotionless mannequin heads.

The rest of their bodies moved and shimmied to the beat.

The zombies became entranced by my fluttering heart and began to pile over one another, trying to obtain it.

One had grazed it creating a pain my chest.

I winced over in pain, as another scratched their fingernails against it.

Even though it wasn't in my body, I could feel we were still connected.

It had become a race to protect it from the feeding frenzy, but there were too many of them.

The roller skating mannequins had begun roller skating backwards.

They spun their heads backward to face me as they did.

I tried passing by them, but they surrounded me like locusts.

An evil smile formed on their lifeless faces.

One of the zombies had gotten hold of my heart and bit into it like an apple.

A gripping pain, shuttered through out my body.

The zombie moaned in ecstasy and handed it to another one.

One by one the lot took a small bite, passing it around.

With each bite I felt myself grow weaker.

It had found itself on a silver platter being passed around the club by a club waitress like an Hor Douvre.

When it had reached me there was one last bite.

I was rendered lifeless on a green velvet stretch couch.

The music had become noise and the party for me was over.

This was not the trip I had anticipated.

I watched as my dime sized heart tried to skip one last beat to the bass, but it was useless.

The zombie, mannequin, massacre on the dance floor had parted like the red sea.

A Greek goddess in all white emerged from between them and floated toward me.

The first thing I noticed was her golden blond hair.

She reached for the last piece of my heart and gripped it in her palm.

It was Debbie.

She placed it in her mouth and leaned in for a kiss.

I felt it squish between her teeth and spit into my mouth.

My body had exploded and suddenly I was myself again.

Mechanical legs, and angel wings.

She rode on my back as we soared above the club, through the roof and into the sky.

The music faded beneath us and the stars surrounded us.

She tightened her grip around my neck and we soared through the infinite sky, never looking back.