Lost Girl

Chiquitita,
                     I love you, but to be frank...you've lost it.

We've been dear friends for years but throughout those years I've sat by and watched you make endless mistakes and abrasive decisions.

This letter is not intended to be cruel or judge, but instead to point out these negative qualities and help you find your way back.

I've noticed an extreme switch in your personality from year to year. It started early on by over-extended gestures and bold invitations toward your past, uninterested, suitors. I always saw the best in you and loved your good intentions, but as the years age us, they are getting harder and harder to validate.

We are both passionate spirits in love with love and soul crushing experiences, but what I've learned over the past couple years is to harness my energy and put it into something artistic or creative.

You've lost that spark and fallen into a societal pit fall that diverts your energy to less important matters.

One of the reasons our friendship has been so strong is that we feed off each other and have always yearned to relate to some of histories greatest poets and artists.

Our heart broken pasts have always fed fuel to the flames of our unflushed friendship, but ever since I've found the love of my life and learned to harness my heart ache, our flame has been petering out.

I suppose this is one of those inevitable losses we mourn as our lives shape shift, but I refuse to let our memories fade out like this.

Please reel in your emotions and get in touch with the person you used to be.

Over these years I've watched your previous self shrivel up and die only to be reborn into a more powerful, self confident, character you've created from some of your favorite qualities.

In a span of two years you had reached your immediate goals and found someone to really love you.

It only took a few months after this to tear down everything you one stood for and cast you back out into a sea of disapproval, shame, and confusion.

Sexuality and religion seemed to be your best defense against new found heart ache and suddenly I lost you altogether.

I hardly recognized you anymore.

You smile, but I see the pain in your eyes.

I believe you'll eventually find what you're looking for.  Until then, my heart goes out to you.

My hope is that one day you'll stand in front of a mirror, shed that exo-skeleton of the character you've created and ask yourself:

Is she who you want to be or are you just pretending?